07 March 2011

The Joys of Motherhood

I love being a mother but there is one aspect of it that I often feel that I really could do without...the guilt.

I don't know if it is just me or if is something that just comes with the job description, but I have found that since I became a mother I have enjoyed a daily helping of guilt.

I feel guilty about not spending enough time with my kids, not doing enough with them, not spending an equal amount of time with each child (am I the only one who has ever heard...you like him/her better?), and then there is the guilt that comes when I feel I am spending too much time with them and not enough with my hubby, family, laundry...insert anything that needs to get done and isn't getting done. And then of course comes the guilt that I am not doing enough to improve myself and the years are going by...

I feel guilty about so many things that are beyond my control. Things like my daughter has no sister and is often alone and/or bored...

I really did try to give her a sister...did I mention that I have three boys...that are the best of friends...which doesn't really help her situation. So...guilt if I don't spend extra time with her and guilt if I do...guilt and worry... oh the joys of motherhood!

We are hitting the pre-teen years around our house...I am a little nervous...about added guilt and worry...and grumpiness...

But...the great thing about being a mother is that it forces me to be patient and creative; to try new things and continually grow and learn.

Growing up I was the loner in my family...and I was often alone and bored...and grumpy. I understand how my daughter feels and I can tell her in all honesty that things do change...as a mother of four I am NEVER alone and NEVER bored and never grumpy (for very long) as one of my four is always doing something to make me smile or laugh.

I am so grateful that in spite of the above mentioned aloneness/boredom/grumpiness...my kids do love each other (deep down somewhere) and they do have moments of togetherness/happiness/fun which really makes it all worth it.

It has been said that there needs to be opposition in all things. I have come to believe that in spite of and posssibly because of all the guilt and worry and work...

there is no joy like the joy experienced by a mother.

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