computers...

I am not sure why, but for some reason computers and I have not been compatible. I bought a new computer a few weeks ago and this past week, it died. I think I was the lucky recipient of some sort of virus. After a three hour phone call with a computer tech I was able to reconfigure my computer and make it new again. Unfortunately, I once again lost everything I had saved. Unfortunately I had not gotten around to backing up the new photos and essays yet, I wrongly assumed that since the computer was so new, everything would be okay....sigh.

My advice for the day...back up files on a daily basis.

Old dreams...

Another week-end spent in our "new" house in Vancouver. We brought down a load of boxes (mainly heavy books). We are hoping to move down enough to leave us with a small uhaul trailer load for our final move next month. It is amazing how much we have accumulated over the past year.

I find that this summer I am looking forward to so many things...

I am finally getting a new computer! This one is so close to death...the screen has been slowly disappearing this year and trying to choose photos (or read words) when I can only see three quarters of a screen is sometimes quite challenging. I am also hoping (crossing fingers with eyes closed tight) that I can get a new camera this year. My little fuji point and shoot is not working for me...I have been trying to take more close ups and it does not want to focus, not on the macro setting or the manual setting and I have tried everything. It is getting to be almost impossible to get the clear shot that I want...and I keep mising all the kids smiles with the superfast speed of 1 photo per 5 seconds that I have been getting....ugh! Yes, a little frustrated with technology (or lack of it around here) lately. Soon...

I also have been surprised by how at home I feel in Vancouver. I have been wanting a farm for so long that I have forgotten how much I used to love going into the city.

A (very) brief look into my past...

I grew up just outside of White Rock on a small hobby farm...about an hour's bus ride from Vancouver. I hated the farm. I loved the city. Then my family moved to the Okanagan three weeks before my 15th birthday...to a larger hobby farm...about an eight hour bus ride from the city. I REALLY hated the farm, and I not so patiently awaited my eighteenth birthday so I could leave the country and head to the city. I dreamed of travelling, a corner office, a penthouse suite, power suits. But...that didn't happen. I had no money to move and other opportunities came my way. I became a travel agent hoping to travel and I did a bit. I thought that I had lots of time for the city, the penthouse, the corner office, the power suits...I had plans. But, then I unexpectedly fell in love and plans changed. I got married, kids came and what I wanted or thought I wanted began to change as well. Eventually, I forgot all about the penthouse suite, the travelling, the power suits, the corner office.

I love being a wife and mother. I love that I have had the opportunity to stay at home with my kids. I feel so grateful that I haven't had to put my kids in daycare. I have loved homeschooling the kids and having them home with me.

But...

I find the more I go to Vancouver, the more I remember...and it is a little bit scary.  I am finding that I love both the country and the city. My wants are currently a little confused.

 I love UBC. I love that my hubby is going to Architecture school. I love that the kids and I will have so much to explore and discover.

 My eleven year old has decided that she doesn't want to do homeschool this year, she wants to go back to "regular" school (which she did for her first six years of school). I have agreed (being home all day with three brothers has sometimes been a challenge for her and I understand her wish to be with other kids her age). The boys still want to homeschool. I have agreed to this as well. I think we will have so much fun this year and it actually may be a little easier to find things to do that everyone will enjoy with just the boys at home. However, I am a little sad and will miss my girl at home with me and a little nervous for my girl who has spent VERY little time in a city or with city kids and because I know how difficult it can be living on student wages (nonexistent) in an area where many of the kids live in some of the most expensive real estate in the country; especially as she approaches high school and is new and wants to fit in. I also worry a little about the wanting to fit in bit.  But, I guess that is all part of being a parent.

Aside from worrying about my children's schooling I have been worrying about my own. As usual I am getting a little behind this semester (I always seem to be doing something major while doing classes). Moving is a recurring theme. And to top it off I am re-evaluating everything...

asking myself what is it that I REALLY want. Where do I want to be in five years...ten? Going into the city has really brought up a lot of old stuff for me. And as wife of a future architect (one who is really getting excited about all the possibilities in front of him) I am realizing that the farm dream may not be compatible with the architect dream. It is still a possibility for the future but probably not while the kids are still at home.

 So...this summer I am re-evaluating, making major changes and trying to figure out who I am and where I want to be...

oh and I am taking a bit of time to make some strawberry ice cream because I haven't forgotten about the important stuff!

Technical difficulties

The lack of posts this week have been due to technical difficulties.

I have been without internet service for nearly a week and it is starting to drive me a little crazy.

I have quickly borrowed a computer to check my emails and make a quick post just so you know I haven't deserted my blog. I am hoping to have the problem fixed shortly. In the meantime I have been taking a little computer break.

I have started packing for our summer move...and adding more boxes of books (just what every mover wants right? more boxes of books!) My husband's back is not thanking me. But, I really couldn't help it there was a large used book sale for the local museum and art gallery...and I think it is really important to support the arts! So I had to buy large quantities of books (just in case I have failed to get the point across previously...I really love books). I will now need a new book case and so my frugal buy may get a little more expensive; but it is still worth it to me.

In Nova Scotia we had a very large living room and a wall of books. Looking at that wall always made me feel so happy. I love that I can pick up a book off of my own library shelf on almost any subject that interests me. I suppose I am a little old fashioned...but I would much prefer to do my research from books (especially vintage books) than from the internet. And I love having books on hand when I need to write an essay rather than having to order them from the library and wait (a nod to my modern need for instant gratification). So this week I have had a boost from adding a number of very cool vintage books to my collection as well as a number of history, literature, architecture and art books...with a few cookbooks thrown in as well...due to some camera difficulties as well...no pictures yet.

Maybe that is one of the reasons I love books so much...they are so reliable with no technical difficulties.

Happy Easter!

Blog discoveries and questions

 This year I decided that I want to spend more time on my blog.

I want to write more.

I want to learn how to use my camera...and maybe if I am really lucky get a DSLR and learn how to use that...

I am really happy this year. As I look at my New Year's resolutions even though it is only February I already see progress; which is a first for me.

I have been writing more on my blog and have found that I really love it.

I like having time that is carved out for me and something I actually want to do not just have to. It is something of my own and living in a tiny house with six people there is little room for things of one's own.

I do realize how strange it is to think of my blog as my own considering that I put it out there for anyone to see but, I think the public forum gives me incentive to write. Which is good for me. My blog also encourages me to do something and to think about my time and how it is spent.

I have found that I really love to write. I have always kept journals and used to write (mostly bad) poetry when I was a teen-ager. I have always been an avid reader (see here and here ) but haven't done too much writing other than what I previously mentioned and loads of academic essays. I took a creative writing course last year and LOVED it. It is so different than writing academic essays. Writing is definately something I would like to continue to do. This semester (that I am starting in June) I am taking two more creative writing classes. They will be challenging; I am a little punctuationally challenged and my grammar really should be exceptional but it isn't. Even though I know it will be hard I am really looking forward to them and to learning and growing and using my creativity.

I also surprised myself over the past few months by discovering that life is SO different and so much more beautiful when seen through the lens of a camera.



 I really love taking pictures...especially using my macro setting.

I am still so far from being even a mediocre photographer (which I notice as I look at some really amazing ones) but I am learning. I have discovered how to use different settings on my cheap little point and shoot. I actually WANT to get a DSLR and learn more about photography and taking pictures. Not long ago I didn't want one, they looked too difficult; even though I was almost always unhappy with the results the automatic setting was good enough for me.

I am excited to see the changes that I have made in my life.

I started my blog to chronicle my journey. So I could see where I needed improvement and where I was succeeding in my attempt to create a life that I wanted to live and as I tried to discover what I wanted to do with the gift of life and health that I had been given. I am hoping that as time progresses I will see improvement.

As I spend more time on my blog I find myself with questions especially regarding what I am allowed and not allowed to do.

~ Can I link to things I like? If I want to share something I have found that I really like (be it a website or a blog) can I link to it or do I need to write for permission first and then wait for a response?

~ If I want to share a favourite recipe that is not my own, can I? Or do I need to write the publisher and get permission first?

~ Are photos like book quotes? Can I include ones I like if I cite where they are from?

I think most of my questions relate to copyright laws...I'm just curious. I see so many different things all over the blog world, I am not sure what the proper conduct is.

If anyone out there knows where to direct me for answers I would appreciate it.

I noticed that I have reached the 1000 views mark on my blog this week-end. I am surprised and thankful for everyone who has shown an interest and taken time to view my little corner of the web. Thank you for participating in my journey!

a death in the family

I am very sad to announce that we have had a death in our family.

My computer has died, very tragic as she was only four years old.

I am desperately hoping that some computer savvy tech will be able to recover all of the priceless information she was storing for me.

Luckily a few months ago we bought a back up storage system and have saved most of the priceless info. - but not all. Maybe buying the back up was what did it. I must admit that I do believe in Murphy's law, just because it always comes true...buy a back up system just in case...and watch the just in case happen.

So for now I am writing essays on my husbands teeny tiny mini computer which I believe was not made for someone who types with more than one finger. 

So, no photos today. No extra time on the computer today. And since we will be moving in a few weeks, there is really no point in getting a new computer until after the big move...so no computer for me for at least a month.

I know it is only a computer but, I miss her already...