It is difficult for me to describe how different I feel knowing that I am where I know I should be. I have an inner contentment. Stress is non-existant. Not that my life isn't stressful - I mean, my husband and I are both unemployed and the bank account is very quickly dwindling away to nothing - but I feel good.
I have been walking a lot lately - feeling the breeze, enjoying the sun and just being with my family.
I have loads to do - but I have not felt stressed at all.
For those who have been around me over the past three years you know how strange that is. I have been constantly frazzled - I feel like I have aged at least a decade. But, coming here has been a big sigh of relief.
I am not oblivious to the challenges that lie ahead but I feel prepared to handle them. I feel like I am on the right path.
I feel lighter, happier, more optimistic...basically, completely content. It has been awhile since I have felt so good.
The best part is I can feel a change in my family too. I don't know if it because I have changed or because our situation has changed but it is good. (my 8 year old is feeling very proud of his bicep and is loving showing it off - posting it for the world to see will give him great pleasure and I am trying to be a supportive mom!)
The boys have been LOVING it here.
They are really enjoying all of our explorations.
And my girl...is growing up so fast. Life isn't always perfect for her - having three younger brothers is not always a 13 year old girls ideal - but I have less of her hiding away with her iPod and
more joining in on family explorations as I give her more independence - SO hard to do! But, I really am trying to allow her more freedoms and to step back a little more. As I do, I notice small changes. And while the early teen mood swings are still there...
I am seeing more smiles and hearing more laughter...
which makes us all happier. I am so grateful to be able to follow the path I know I need to be on and thankful for everybody who has supported me in my decisions. I am so happy to have these experiences and to be given the opportunity to learn and move forward. I am putting the finishing touches on my next step and am really excited for what is coming up in September!