Last month I mentioned I was reading the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. One quote that she includes in her book is something I have been thinking about for a number of years and has been on my mind this week.
It is simply this:
"I can DO ANYTHING I want, but I can't DO EVERYTHING I want".
I agree completely.
As I have mentioned previously, my husband has always wanted to be an Architect; he has worked really hard over the past seven years and has completed his BFA and MFA and will be starting his MArch degree in August. He has been focused and driven and aside from family time, he hasn't had time to really do anything else. I think fulfilling dreams are like that...they require a lot of time and effort, but if it is something you love doing the work is very rewarding.
I have been working on my BA for five years majoring in both History and English. But, I am undecided about what I want to do with it. Unlike my hubby, I have not had just one thing that I have always wanted to do. (Sometimes I really wish I did; decision-making would be SO much easier!) I couldn't even pick one major! I love many things and have bits and pieces of many hobbies that I wish I had more time for. I think it is finally sinking in that I do not have time to do all of them really well. I think all of us, at some point have to ask ourselves this: do I want to be mediocre at a lot of things or do I want to be really good at one or two? Personally, I don't like mediocre. I like doing a lot of things but when I don't have time to learn to do them well I get frustrated. I really want to narrow down my passions to just a couple and then take the time to do them well. I have known this for years, but I haven't been able to narrow them down.
Over the past year (or two) I have been really thinking about what I am the most passionate about. What is it that I want to do with my life. I don't want to wait until my kids leave home to decide what I want to be when I grow up...I know that whatever I choose to do, if I work hard I will be successful.
I like to write, I keep a daily journal and have dozens of notebooks full of things I jot down...but, nothing very polished ( I am working on this. The English portion of my degree began as a love of literature and I have taken a number of literature classes. But, during the second half of my degree I am trying to cram in all the creative writing classes I can. While I have always known that I LOVE to read, I didn't realize until a year or so ago how much I love to write, even though it is something I have always done).
I am also finding that I really love taking pictures (although I am not very good at it yet...a few days ago I went into the local camera shop and oggled the canon 7D for a while...but for now I do not have the $$$ and I think I need to finish paying for my degree first). I also really love to cook and if I were fifteen years younger and did not have four kids I would love to be a chef; however, I do not want to be a chef at my age and with a family...but, I really do want to learn to be a great cook...cooking school is something that is very appealing to me.
As of now my priorities are this...my family: spending time with my kids while they are still at home and still want to spend time with me...supporting my husband in fulfilling his dream and trying to find time for us to spend together...and finishing my degree (which I hope to complete by early 2013...yes it is taking me a very long time, mostly due to priority number one). I have been trying to master my little point and shoot camera...and I do have that beautiful 7D on my wish list...I practice my cooking as much as I can and cook something from scratch nearly every day (Last night it was pizza... I made the crust and the sauce as always, but I would really love to add making the cheese...maybe next pay day I will order some rennet...)and the past two mornings I have been working on a blackberries and cream scone recipe ( I found some really nice frozen berries). Not quite ready to share yet...maybe when the fresh berries come in...
I think over the past few months I have narrowed my "really want to do" list to three things:
3. food ( although I am also really interested in agriculture, the family farm and self sufficiency...which is kind of number 4).
I know, that is four things not one or two. But, that is as narrow as I can go for now...I keep thinking that maybe I can find a way to make them all work together...do you think so?