Be Yourself

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." 
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

November Comfort.

Last week I celebrated my favourite November tradition.

In November, Christmas arrives a little early to our kitchen...

Every year as I am stocking my cupboards with jars filled with the bounty of the local harvest - I stop -and for a change of pace print out the current seasons nuts and dried fruit order from Rancho Vignola. 

I love them. They only sell wholesale and have a short window for ordering - just a few weeks in September as the new crops are being harvested. After I make my dream list and then cut it down to my really want list and then to my almost there list and finally to my what I can afford list I send it in and then wait...patiently... until delivery arrives in November. I LOVE Rancho Vignola day!

I love hauling the boxes into the kitchen and pulling out the large bags of nuts, seeds and dried fruits! I love filling jars and stocking my cupboards to bursting. I love the feeling of November. The freezers are full...the cupboards are full...Christmas baking will soon start with fruitcakes made from the freshest of nuts and dried fruits...

As soon as it arrives I conduct a little taste test. The kids try everything from Flax seeds and Hemp hearts...to Brazil nuts and Medjool dates. Some are loved by all and some appreciated by only a few...but we all love trying everything and picking our favourites. It's a mini November Thanksgiving in Canada (for those who don't know - and I know there are people who don't - up here in Canada most of the harvest comes early so we celebrate Thanksgiving in October).

Since I have been feeling so comforted knowing I have food for the winter, this week I decided to make my ultimate comfort food.

I chopped the onions, cabbage, celery, peppers, carrots, potatoes and dill (how I love the smell of fresh dill) and grated the beets and made my granny's borscht. 

As I stir the pot I tell my kids the story my granny used to tell of not being able to wait for the borscht when she was two and how she pulled the borscht pot down on herself. I tell them how when I was little I used to rub my finger along the scars on her neck that mingled with the wrinkles. Granny was already old when I was young...she was two in 1913.

 I think about granny's borscht frozen in old pickle jars in her freezer...(there was always borscht at granny's house). I think about my great grandmother and imagine her learning this recipe from her mother in Russia many, many years ago. I think about me as a small infant taking my first tastes of food from a bowl of borscht made with love and wonder how many generations of my family have tasted this borscht and how many of us found comfort and warmth. I think about my dad in a small restaurant in Grand Forks and the smile on his face as he tastes a bowl of borscht declaring it is just like his mom's. I wonder how many families share this recipe. I love sharing it with my children and listening to them ask for a bowl of "granny soup". I love that flavours can be transported across generations tying family together. I wonder how many more generations will find comfort in the flavours of granny's borscht...I lastly think with gratitude of my mother and silently thank her for patiently watching granny and writing down her recipe...life just wouldn't be the same without it.

CHEESE!

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to do something that I have been wanting to do for years...

I met with a group of people who came together to make cheese...

Mozzarella...

It was so fun watching the magic occur after the rennet was added.

The cheese came together quite quickly. I was surprised by how easy it was. Why haven't I done this yet? One reason was a lack of rennet (which I now have and so there are no excuses!) and the other was I suppose a fear of the unknown...what if I mess it up? what if it is really hard? One thing I have learned over the past few years is that few things are as difficult as they seem and the only way I can really mess things up is by not trying them at all.

The ball on the left is the one made by me... it was delicious! I can't wait to make some at home...and see what else I can try.

My little piece of heaven...

Today I hugged my kids a little tighter.

This morning I accompanied my youngest to the pumpkin patch with his class.

There is something about watching five year olds find the perfect pumpkin.

so proud of himself.

And then I took one too many photos...

and things became silly. I love every picture of his silly face.

I smiled at his eagerness to line up for the bus many minutes before anyone else. Today was his first time on a school bus and he was so excited.

I was so grateful as I watched him. Grateful that I could be there. Grateful that I have been able to stay home with my kids while they are little. Grateful for all the time I have had with them.

When I returned to the school it was recess and my middle son's eyes lit up when he saw me and he ran over to me for a hug. I was so happy to have that hug. So grateful to receive a hug even though his friends were watching. He said he hadn't been feeling well and was wanting to come home and miraculously I arrived just as he was wishing that he could go home. I brought him home and bundled him up on the couch with a movie. It felt so good to see his happy face and hear his little voice saying "Thank you so much for coming to get me mommy".

I anxiously awaited the end of school so I could pick up the two boys who were still at school.

My daughter agreed to babysit while I ran down to the school to get them. On the way there I thought about how big she is getting. How much she has matured over the past months and what a help and a friend she is to me.

photo by Caylee Secretan

 We are busy planning our third annual girls day for November and we are really looking forward to it. 

She is growing up so fast and it really freaks me out that she has so few years left at home. My babies are growing up so fast!

After school I decided to surprise the kids with a treat and made chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate with whipping cream. While I baked I let the boys play video games...

They were so happy... Thursday is not one of their regular days to play. They played until I called them to the table for a treat.

I loved watching how happy they were. Today has been cool and drizzling...warm cookies and hot chocolate was much appreciated. 

They were so happy and really it required very little effort on my part. We get so caught up in the day to day routines it was nice to spoil them a little. I wanted them to know how grateful I am for them. How much I love them and how I am not just about nagging them to do homework, and clean their rooms, and hurry up because we are going to be late...I need to bring more fun into our lives. 

At least once in awhile. We do that during the holidays but during the school year everyone is always so busy that sometimes we forget to stop and enjoy each other. 

I was reminded of that over the past couple of days as I read "Heaven is Here" by Stephanie Nielson. Her story is so heartbreaking and inspiring. Reading it made me want to hug my kids a little tighter each day and reminded me what a privilege it is to be a mother. How lucky I am to have been blessed with four beautiful children. Today I am filled with gratitude for a wonderful husband who works so hard to  take care of his family and who really loves me. I sometimes forget how rare that is. After fifteen years we are still best friends and even more in love than the day we were married. He is so good to me and I am so happy that I have him. My family means so much to me and even though I tell them every day, I don't always take the time to show them. 

Thank you NieNie for reminding me that Heaven IS here. I think I will appreciate my life and express my gratitude just a little bit more after reading your book. 

If you haven't read it yet...go out and buy it. I can't imagine anyone reading this book and not being affected by her powerful message of hope and gratitude. On a side note... it also made me want to get out and run. If she can...I really have no excuse.