On the Right Path...

Another happy day here in Nova Scotia...

It is difficult for me to describe how different I feel knowing that I am where I know I should be. I have an inner contentment. Stress is non-existant. Not that my life isn't stressful - I mean, my husband and I are both unemployed and the bank account is very quickly dwindling away to nothing - but I feel good. 

I have been walking a lot lately - feeling the breeze, enjoying the sun and just being with my family. 

I have loads to do - but I have not felt stressed at all. 

For those who have been around me over the past three years you know how strange that is. I have been constantly frazzled - I feel like I have aged at least a decade. But, coming here has been a big sigh of relief. 

I am not oblivious to the challenges that lie ahead but I feel prepared to handle them. I feel like I am on the right path. 

I feel lighter, happier, more optimistic...basically, completely content. It has been awhile since I have felt so good.

The best part is I can feel a change in my family too. I don't know if it because I have changed or because our situation has changed but it is good. (my 8 year old is feeling very proud of his bicep and is loving showing it off - posting it for the world to see will give him great pleasure and I am trying to be a  supportive mom!)

The boys have been LOVING it here. 

They are really enjoying all of our explorations. 

And my girl...is growing up so fast. Life isn't always perfect for her - having three younger brothers is not always a 13 year old girls ideal - but I have less of her hiding away with her iPod and

more joining in on family explorations as I give her more independence - SO hard to do! But, I really am trying to allow her more freedoms and to step back a little more. As I do, I notice small changes. And while the early teen mood swings are still there...

I am seeing more smiles and hearing more laughter...

which makes us all happier. I am so grateful to be able to follow the path I know I need to be on and thankful for everybody who has supported me in my decisions. I am so happy to have these experiences and to be given the opportunity to learn and move forward. I am putting the finishing touches on my next step and am really excited for what is coming up in September!

Hopefully everything works out for all of us here. I do know that we are headed into another very busy year full of changes and new experiences and I can't wait...

Nova Scotia 2013

We are here and we are connected. ... sort of... our phone still isn't working.

The strange thing about returning to a house that we lived in before is that after the first day it felt like we had just returned from vacation. We were back home after a LONG holiday. I keep wandering into the living room and shocking myself asking: Where is my furniture? and where did this mess come from? All I want to do is flop down on my couch and pick up a magazine and relax...I am so tired.

After the craziness that was June (and May for that matter) with writing essays and exams, getting rid of stuff, packing and then loading the trailer (and then unloading and reloading...don't ask) driving across Canada was somewhat relaxing. Except for the heatwave that followed us across country...and me without my air conditioning.

I drove over 5500 km.

Myself.

I have never driven farther than the Okanagan to Vancouver on my own. That is only about 5 hours. This was over ten times as long.

The trip was good and fairly uneventful...other than celebrating my baby's sixth birthday in Kenora, Ontario. We went out for Kalamari and spent the evening talking with a couple of fishermen at the end of the pier. The kids were quite taken with the one-eyed Newfoundlander...he offered them many pieces of advice and may well be the highlight of the trip. (Other than the big curly slide at the hotel in Brandon, Manitoba of course).

I was happy to arrive home. Happy and tired. I have spent the past week doing all the fun things...like unpacking, trying to get our utilities in order and getting oil changes on our vehicles. And then staring at all the boxes of books that currently have no shelves.

Last Saturday...before I started in on all the fun stuff...we took a day off and went to the beach.

After all the time in the car the kids needed to have some space...

The boys were really excited about being at a beach with creatures to collect and look at again ... they never did learn to love the lakes of the Okanagan.

They had such a good time collecting crabs and snails and jellyfish...

The day was a scorcher with record temperatures over 30C very hot for Nova Scotia. It was so nice to be able to go down to the beach and cool off.

While it was a regular hot summer day for us... for many it was unbearably hot and the beaches were PACKED!

I love Nova Scotia. The boys didn't even realize how busy the beach was.

After the beach we decided to splurge on our favourite post-beach treat...

Nothing is easier after a day at the beach than throwing a bunch of lobsters in a pot for dinner. I love that we can do that here. It feels so luxurious...and tastes so good!


The rest of the week has been fairly uneventful.

Although, we did go strawberry picking.

 Moving when we did we get a very extended strawberry season. We were able to experience a good portion of the season in the Okanagan and then arrive in Nova Scotia for the beginning of the season here. No one in our house is complaining!

My favourite moment was when my youngest came over to where I was picking..."mommy I found one just for you". He had the sweetest look on his face...

that of course disappeared as soon as I lifted up my camera.

Our days have been busy but we have been enjoying the little bits of exploring we have been doing.
We are making the most of our summer while trying to organize the house. We have had a few walks around the neighbourhood and trips to the park. We'll be able to do more when the hubby finishes teaching his class at the end of the month. For now, I think the boys are happy just to be out of the car...

and I am happy to be home and finally settling down... at least a little.

Planning and still moving forward

Plans are progressing...

While it is grey and slushy and muddy now, I know that soon...very soon...I will wake up to beautiful green. I am always amazed at how leaves seem to burst out overnight. One day everything has that end of winter greyness and the next the world is green and full of new life. 

Late last fall after spending almost a year of "should we stay or should we go" I decided to apply for my B.Ed. in Nova Scotia.

I thought this would be the perfect plan. 

It would give us a concrete date to move by, it would (hopefully) give us a steady income and I still would have summers and holidays with my family. Perfect.

I filled out applications, wrote essays and asked a few kind-hearted souls to send in references for me (many thanks to you). I sent in money and transcripts and waited...very patiently-unusual for me. I immersed myself in holiday preparations and classes to finish my current degree. 

As the date of acceptance loomed closer I became worried...I didn't want to find out.

Every time I walked into a school I secretly hoped that I wouldn't be accepted. 

I received a phone call a few weeks earlier than expected - Congratulations!

I pretended to be happy. 

I knew that this would be good for my family. 

This was something I could do. 

The steady paycheck would be welcomed. 

The thought of spending everyday back in high school...

The thought of not being home on proD days and sick days and not greeting my kids as they arrived home from school with a fresh batch of cookies...

My blog was neglected. I couldn't think of anything to say.

I wasn't being true to who I am. I felt like a fraud.

There are SO many things I want to do with my life.

Teaching high school isn't one of them.

So - after much thought and discussion - I have declined the offer.  

A move thought crazy by some. WHY would you decline a perfectly good offer to prepare for a respectable career? WHY? What are you doing instead? How are you going to live? 

Well...I'm working on it and

 I'm moving to Nova Scotia this summer anyway.

I know many will say (and some probably already have) - who do you think you are? How irresponsible. 

I understand. I really do. I lived a lot of my life like that. Responsibility comes first. Jobs come first. It didn't matter how sick or unhappy I was... I had to do the responsible thing. I lived my life by shoulds and have tos. Often not even thinking about what I was good at or what my talents were or what I wanted to do. None of that mattered as long as I was doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing. 

The older I get the more I realize that life isn't all about responsibilities. 

Life should be joyful. 

I believe that being true to who you are is the only way to find real joy.  

I am happy and feeling more like myself than I have in months. 

I know I have made the right choice.

I am so looking forward to our first visit to our favourite beach...we've missed it.

Home

Right now, this is what I miss the most...

Rustico Beach, Prince Edward Island

Northport Beach, Nova Scotia

Blomidon, Nova Scotia

Somewhere along the Cabot Trail, Cape Breton, Nova Scotia (The word Green comes to mind...but I really can't remember the name of this exact spot.)

Joggins, Nova Scotia

When my hubby decided to leave architecture school, we decided to go back to Nova Scotia. The reason we returned to BC was so he could do his Masters of Architecture at UBC.

Our experience in Vancouver taught us how much we missed Nova Scotia. When we left Vancouver, we returned to the Okanagan because the hubby had a show booked at a local art gallery that he needed to do some paintings for and because we had to move only a few weeks after making the decision to leave Vancouver. Moving across Canada with little notice at Christmas was not appealing.

We decided that we would move in August after the show opened.

His show opened last week.

I am still in BC.

Things haven't worked out exactly as we planned. We need to save a few more pennies before we can pack up and go. The hubby also needs a day job in Nova Scotia. ( I am still in school so I am leaving the day job to him).

Because things haven't worked out exactly as we planned...I think we are here for another year.

Staying has some good points. I do love BC...

but this week I am feeling VERY homesick. I feel like I have been on an extended vacation that is dragging on a lot longer than I want it to. Do you know that feeling?

Home...funny how Nova Scotia feels like home to me. I only lived there for just over two years in my nearing forty years of life.


If you have the time I'll tell you a little story...

I grew up in a smallish town not far from Vancouver. I loved it. It was home to me. I had family, friends and lived in a great house on five acres outside the city; my granny lived in town - walking distance to everywhere I needed to go.

Unexpectedly (to me anyway) my parents decided to move to the Okanagan - to a very small town. VERY small town. Nothing was really within walking distance, unless you count the fish and game club. I was fifteen when we moved. I hated it. I couldn't wait to leave. As soon as I was eighteen, I did. I moved around a lot.

When the hubby and I became engaged (over fifteen years ago) we realized that we could go anywhere and do anything. I was working as a travel agent and brought home dozens of brochures from tourist boards all over the world. We read through them all looking for a perfect place to live. We researched for weeks, searching the internet for additional information on our favourite places.

For a reason that I no longer remember, we chose Prince Edward Island...probably because it had pretty much everything on our must have list and we could stay in Canada avoiding mountains of paperwork.

In hindsight, I think I was looking for a home. In all the moving I had done in the previous decade, I hadn't really felt at home anywhere. Something was missing. I didn't know what, but I wanted to find it.

After we married...we stayed where we were. We had a mortgage to pay and moving to a place we had never been seemed a little too risky. My husband became my home. I was so happy to be married to him that it didn't matter too much where we lived.

Less than a year after we married I was offered a trip to New Brunswick - three nights, all expenses paid, packed itinerary - by the New Brunswick Tourist Board. I was very excited to go and had an amazing time. I loved everything about that trip and I am sure that I bored everybody by announcing "I want to live here" every stop we made. I called my husband every night trying to figure out a way that he could just meet me there so I didn't have to leave.

I can still vividly picture my last night there. I went for a walk late at night around the grounds of the Algonquin Hotel in St. Andrews-by-the-Sea. It was a beautiful night. I could hear piano music softly escaping through the open windows of the hotel. I could smell the ocean. I stood outside for a long time with a cool breeze blowing over me. Even though the breeze was cool, I remember feeling very warm and thinking "this feels like home - I don't want to leave". I remember crying and smiling at the same time. I hadn't felt like that in such a long time. I felt safe, comforted and happy... and then my mind would remind me I was leaving in a few short hours and the crying would start up again.

Ten years later, my family and I moved to Nova Scotia so my hubby could do his Masters of Fine Arts degree. The second I arrived I felt that feeling of home again. I had felt at home often with my hubby and kids. They were home to me, but I hadn't experienced that feeling about a place until I returned to the Maritimes. I missed it. When I look back my two years in Nova Scotia were probably the best two years I have ever had. Even though we struggled a lot (with long commutes - that's another long story - and financial problems) we had so much fun and grew so close as a family.

I know that Nova Scotia is not perfect and that there are many people who will look at me like I am crazy for wanting to live there instead of BC. I love so many things about BC and there are things that I don't like about Nova Scotia.

But, for a reason unknown to me,  the Maritimes are my home. I love Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and Prince Edward Island and have spent many hours exploring all three. Right now, I could list dozens of activities I want to do and places I still want to see or go back to that would keep me busy for decades. The list I have for BC is comparitively short. I was born and raised in BC and could live here happily all my life if I didn't constantly feel like I needed to go home.

Hopefully, someday soon, I will.