Another week-end spent in our "new" house in Vancouver. We brought down a load of boxes (mainly heavy books). We are hoping to move down enough to leave us with a small uhaul trailer load for our final move next month. It is amazing how much we have accumulated over the past year.
I find that this summer I am looking forward to so many things...
I am finally getting a new computer! This one is so close to death...the screen has been slowly disappearing this year and trying to choose photos (or read words) when I can only see three quarters of a screen is sometimes quite challenging. I am also hoping (crossing fingers with eyes closed tight) that I can get a new camera this year. My little fuji point and shoot is not working for me...I have been trying to take more close ups and it does not want to focus, not on the macro setting or the manual setting and I have tried everything. It is getting to be almost impossible to get the clear shot that I want...and I keep mising all the kids smiles with the superfast speed of 1 photo per 5 seconds that I have been getting....ugh! Yes, a little frustrated with technology (or lack of it around here) lately. Soon...
I also have been surprised by how at home I feel in Vancouver. I have been wanting a farm for so long that I have forgotten how much I used to love going into the city.
A (very) brief look into my past...
I grew up just outside of White Rock on a small hobby farm...about an hour's bus ride from Vancouver. I hated the farm. I loved the city. Then my family moved to the Okanagan three weeks before my 15th birthday...to a larger hobby farm...about an eight hour bus ride from the city. I REALLY hated the farm, and I not so patiently awaited my eighteenth birthday so I could leave the country and head to the city. I dreamed of travelling, a corner office, a penthouse suite, power suits. But...that didn't happen. I had no money to move and other opportunities came my way. I became a travel agent hoping to travel and I did a bit. I thought that I had lots of time for the city, the penthouse, the corner office, the power suits...I had plans. But, then I unexpectedly fell in love and plans changed. I got married, kids came and what I wanted or thought I wanted began to change as well. Eventually, I forgot all about the penthouse suite, the travelling, the power suits, the corner office.
I love being a wife and mother. I love that I have had the opportunity to stay at home with my kids. I feel so grateful that I haven't had to put my kids in daycare. I have loved homeschooling the kids and having them home with me.
But...
I find the more I go to Vancouver, the more I remember...and it is a little bit scary. I am finding that I love both the country and the city. My wants are currently a little confused.
I love UBC. I love that my hubby is going to Architecture school. I love that the kids and I will have so much to explore and discover.
My eleven year old has decided that she doesn't want to do homeschool this year, she wants to go back to "regular" school (which she did for her first six years of school). I have agreed (being home all day with three brothers has sometimes been a challenge for her and I understand her wish to be with other kids her age). The boys still want to homeschool. I have agreed to this as well. I think we will have so much fun this year and it actually may be a little easier to find things to do that everyone will enjoy with just the boys at home. However, I am a little sad and will miss my girl at home with me and a little nervous for my girl who has spent VERY little time in a city or with city kids and because I know how difficult it can be living on student wages (nonexistent) in an area where many of the kids live in some of the most expensive real estate in the country; especially as she approaches high school and is new and wants to fit in. I also worry a little about the wanting to fit in bit. But, I guess that is all part of being a parent.
Aside from worrying about my children's schooling I have been worrying about my own. As usual I am getting a little behind this semester (I always seem to be doing something major while doing classes). Moving is a recurring theme. And to top it off I am re-evaluating everything...
asking myself what is it that I REALLY want. Where do I want to be in five years...ten? Going into the city has really brought up a lot of old stuff for me. And as wife of a future architect (one who is really getting excited about all the possibilities in front of him) I am realizing that the farm dream may not be compatible with the architect dream. It is still a possibility for the future but probably not while the kids are still at home.
So...this summer I am re-evaluating, making major changes and trying to figure out who I am and where I want to be...
oh and I am taking a bit of time to make some strawberry ice cream because I haven't forgotten about the important stuff!
